Sunday, April 10, 2011


Did I spell that right? LOL
This is something I have not spoken about to anyone. I'm not even sure why. When it started, I didn't know this is what it was. Now I do. It started about the time my last hearing aid failed me and there was nothing else they could do. I remember going to see my audiologist trying to get some clarity out of my hearing aid. I had only one as my other ear died on me the year before.  Sitting in her quiet office, I kept hearing a roar. I asked about a noisy A/C unit or something else making a roar and she said the air was on and she could hear it. But to me this was really loud. It was so loud that if I were able to hear her talking it would have been drowned out by the roar. I questioned it no more but then it stayed once I left.

I never know when it will decide to come visit or even what type of noise I will hear in my head. I have not yet had voices in my head telling me to do strange things though. LOL Lots of times it's a roar which is very annoying. Sometimes louder than others. I have had a few nights where it would not let me sleep. Not fun! Sometimes it is a piercing "tone" for lack of a better word.

I sometimes too have what I think to be "phantom sounds". This mainly happens while watching television. There is no sound because I live alone and don't know how loud it would be for one thing. It's not necessary and I use closed caption. So I know what is being said and sometimes it "sounds" like I am hearing their voices. Seriously! Don't get out the white jackets and I have no idea if what I "think" I am hearing is really how it sounds.

From everything I've read everyone is different so there are no guarantees. With a lot of people tinnitus goes away while wearing the CI. I am hopeful this is the case for me.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Is It Finally Going To Happen?

I think I am getting a little closer. I am afraid to think it might actually happen soon because I have thought that many times only to be shot down. However, I did go see my counselor yesterday. It was not a scheduled visit but I happened to be in the same town she is in so I dropped by. I got lucky and caught her there after only an hour and a half wait! It was so worth it. I did get that appointment I have been waiting on for the past 4 months and it will be May 17th. I will be there with bells on! We had a very serious and long heart to heart yesterday and I think she realizes where I am at. This needs to be done soon!

I also have been in contact with my audiologist. She tells me that the cat scan I already have done is ok with the doctor so I don't have to have another! Great news there as I won't have to wait for my counselor to schedule this one! She also tells me that they expect AB to end the recall mid to late July. Of course there is now a waiting list for implants so again I'll have to wait my turn but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel!

My counselor told me yesterday that after this psych evaluation that I will have everything I need. She will send all the reports to Orlando and they will check to make sure everything is in order and send it to Tallahassee. Tallahassee says yes or no. She will get an answer via email in about 2 weeks after sending it to Orlando. So, if I can get her to send in the reports, it looks like I will be approved around the time AB is back in business!

This has been quite a journey so far and really it has not even begun yet. This is not an instant fix and will take lots of work to make it happen. I am so ready to exit this silent world and enter the one with sound again. I know we all have things we have to deal with but this is by far the hardest I have ever had to. I have so much compassion and admiration for people dealing with things that are much tougher than this is.